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Lament for a Scupper’d AGM

How the world’s oldest Burns Club was nearly thwarted by a microscopic virus

When Rab turn’d ower the mousie’s nest

That dark November day

His thoughts went tae the rodent’s life

And whaur its future lay

The mousie’s fate look’d very bleak

Oor Bardie was upset

He saw the part that he had play’d

And what micht happen yet

He also took the mousie’s plight

Compar’d it to himsel’

And how mankind was much worse aff

In ways that he could tell

An’ forward tho’ I canna see

Was what he said back then

He guess’d and fear’d aboot oor plight

Tho’ it beyond his ken

He couldnae hae seen the human race

Brought firmly to its knees

By a sleekit’, cowerin’ Chinese bat

And its relentless disease

Is this revenge for Rabbie’s mouse,

Or just a quirk o’ fate?

The question noo across the land

Did we react too late?

The smartest scientific minds

Are lookin’ for a cure

For this disease has nae respect

If ye be rich or poor

The sadness spreads across the world

As death rates rise and soar

Lockdown reigns throughout oor land

Social gatherings are no more

And serious tho’ this a’ may be

Bemoan’d by mice and men

It’s gone it’s dinger noo and scupper’d

The Mother Club’s AGM!

The Committee members were aghast

This surely cannae be?

We hae tae meet, it’s in the rules

But how, we couldnae see!

Technology just won the day

 “Keep safe” oor battle cry

An Electronic AGM

And The Mother Club gets by

Ev’n Rabbie couldnae hae seen this come

When he wrote in yesteryear

An’ forward tho’ ah canna see

Ah guess and fear

Wi’ God’s guid grace we’ll a’ get through

This crisis, safe and well

And hae a Toast at the Mother Club -

But when?  Ah, wha can tell?

Iain White

Junior Vice President

Greenock Burns Club

26th March 2020