The Haggis 2014 (sung to the tune of “The Midges”)
Composed by Murdo Morrison and Peter Hughes

The Haggis is fine, in fact it’s divine
The Haggis has magical taste
Wi’ tatties and neeps, you’ll love it for keeps
And it disnae dae harm tae yer waist

When Haggis wis born, its wonderful form
Was set by the size of its skin
The things that go in it are really the limit
Tae waste it would really be sin

When the great Robert Burns, tae poetry he turns
There’s only wan food he could mention
The Haggis he chose, with wonderful prose
World fame it was his intention

Wi’ its wee sonsie face, from the great puddin’ race
It’ better than painch tripe or thairm
It’s looking just great, as it sits on yer plate
And a Haggis will dae ye nae harm

As the trencher it fills, wi’ a pin that mends mills
And a skin that leaks braw amber beads
What a wonderful flavour, a great stomach saviour
It will satisfy all of yer needs

Some folk fill their mou’ wi’ stuff ca’d ragout
And some even try fricassee
But the Haggis is best, tae put hairs on yer chest
An’ ye’ll need nothing else for yer tea

Some pair devils dash, tae eat stuff we’d ca’ trash
And feckless is how they are known
But the Scotsman is gled, when he’s been Haggis fed
And his muscles are swarthy and grown

So if you need food, which is tasty and good
And you want to be in great voice
You must not delay, get your Haggis today
Make Haggis your number one choice

Young Murdo decreed that if we’re tae succeed
In the Robert Burns World Federation
The Haggis profile we should raise with a smile
And announce it across the whole nation

So 2014 what a wonderful scene
Wi’ the butchers and traders on board
Wild Haggis are viewed and are even pursued
And eventually put tae the sword

Ye powers wha care wi’ oor bill o’ fare
Don’t dae jouping in luggies or skinking
Tae get gratefu’ prayers, gie us Haggis and mair
For you’ll ken what we want and are thinking

Clackmannan or Annan, Dumbarton and Arran
The Haggis is reigning supreme
A dish that is good and the finest of food
A plate that is fit for a Queen

The Haggis in Grampians are Commonwealth Champions
Gold Medals awarded to all
Whatever the plans for gathering the clans
The Haggis will answer the call